‘The Sow Is Out!’

February 28th, 2013

In my brother-in-law’s oh so eloquent words, “The sow is out!” The sow he is referring to is my former entertainment center, also known as my tornado shelter. I’ve had said shelter since moving into my house around eight years ago and inheriting it from my sister and brother-in-law who decided they were sick and tired of moving it and were not putting it in one more house (they tended to move quite a lot for a little while there.) It was actually one of my brother-in-law Steve’s first furniture building projects. He did a great job on it but built it for the T.V. they one day hoped to have (this was before flatscreens) and made it completely out of two by fours so it is heavy as all get out. We have always joked that since I don’t have a basement under my little house it could be my tornado shelter, if I would just take the T.V. out I could probably fit inside and weather any storm.

Fall Out Shelter

After finally joining the 21st century and buying myself a flatscreen T.V. my next dilemma was, “Where will I house my new T.V.?” At first I was going to buy a T.V. that would fit inside the shelter but my family convinced me I would be crazy to not buy a more sizable T.V. considering I am a huge television addict (I had to replace my new DVR after only two months due to the box overheating, the company assured me it was faulty equipment, but secretly I know it was due to the thing recording two shows at once 24-7.) So the decision was made, and I became the owner of a 40′ flatscreen. YAY! I still wasn’t sure where I would be putting it but as we left the store my sister and I had the same thought “What if I moved my potting bench in from the patio?” We unfortunately made that statement outloud and soon heard protests from the back seats. “You’re going to put that old piece of junk in your house?” said my mom. “The entire top of that thing is saturated in grease!” said my dad. I just smiled because they will never understand my love of junk.

So I waited a whole three days before getting my beautiful, new T.V. out of it’s box because I knew I would have to request the assistance of a moving crew and my two candidates were either out of town or busy working on something else. So on the fourth day, with a blizzard threatening to hit I knew I had to get that potting bench inside before it was covered in snow so I called my brother-in-law Marc (poor guy, gets my calls for help quite often) and he agreed to come over that night.

Moving the shelter

At first we just stood and stared at it in the middle of the room and debated cutting it apart into pieces because neither of us could remember how we got it in the house (yes he had to help move it both in and out). The only door it would fit through was my front door, if we took the door off. But my front door has a little vestibule so it would take some finagling. I didn’t want to, but finally broke down and called my dad for advice and he came over. Between the three of us, some swear words and some pinched fingers we finally got it out. Marc made his sow comment and said “Well, there you go.” Like I was just going to leave it in the front yard as a lawn ornament. We eventually got it moved around to my back patio where it now sits covered in snow.

So then this happened…

Empty entertainment

I bought it to use as a potting bench two summers ago at the 4th of July Shed Sale. I loved it the moment I laid eyes on it. It was covered in grease and spiderwebs and I’m sure it was pulled out of some old farmers quonset. It would be perfect for my new patio but in the back of my mind I was trying to figure out how to get it in the house even back then. Marc, bless-his-heart, said he thought it was a great idea, “You could fill the drawers with all of your DVD’s.” Exactly! So she moved in with no struggle at all just like it was meant to be.


Cleaning the drawers used up an entire bottle of Pledge Wood Cleaner and took me almost a week to finish. I’d scrub three to four drawers at a time and then get sick of it and move on to something else for a while. And my dad just couldn’t get over the grease soaked two by ten that made up half of the top of the cupboard so he went hunting and found the most absolutely, perfectly weathered two by ten in one of his buddies grain bins. It matches beautifully. I have an awesome dad.


Notice my circa 1950’s Electo-lux vacuum? Handed down from my mother. I just keep duct taping the hose instead of buying myself something that actually cleans my carpet. I spotted my exact model of Electro-lux while watching the movie “The Help”, so proud, so proud.


So here she is in all her glory. Can’t decide which I love best, the T.V. or the cupboard it’s standing on. And yes, that is the evil Stassi crying over Jax cheating on her on my amazing new T.V. Oh, and my brother-in-law Steve called me later and suggested I bury the old entertainment center in my backyard so it could now serve as a fall out shelter. That is an idea…

2 Responses to “‘The Sow Is Out!’”

  1. Kathryn Says:

    The “sow” reference must be a Goertzen/Peters thing. Kurt uses it for just about anything: a cow, a stubborn piece of irrigtation pipe, a person, a piece of furniture. Usually not used as a term of endearment. 😉

  2. ang Says:

    Looks like an AWESOME place to watch a Housewives Reunion!!!! And I LOVE the electrolux, even though I have nightmares about having to vacuum the steps with that beast!!!

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